EVERYthing I AM

It is Friday night at 9:41 pm and I am chilling on the couch, fireplace creating a relaxing glow in the background, listening to some Jason Mraz. And after this last chaotic week, there is nothing I would rather be doing.

I heard a new song a few weeks ago and have been contemplating the lyrics since. I love the song, it has a great beat and the artist has a great voice. However, when I really listened to the words, I questioned the purpose of the song. It is called "Anything I'm Not" and literally talks about wanting to be anything in this world, but yourself. So, of course, this got me pondering life and what could be so bad, so overwhelming, draining or depressing that you would sing about wanting to be anything BUT who you truly are.

Initially I cracked up. The first couple lines say, "I will never be, never ever be tall, no. I will never be, never ever be sure of it all." Clearly, I will never be tall! And I don't think ANY of us will ever be sure of it all. And if you think you are, that philosophy in itself proves you really don't have a grasp because, hey, denying the opportunity to learn something new is the first sign that really you are quite ignorant!

But as the song goes on, the artist wonders why the world has been so cruel, and expresses this sense of life being such a harsh reality. Really?!? Is it that bad? There is one acknowledgement of being happy with themself, but yet every other line is about escape. Stating they want to be free, new and different, literally ANYthing they aren't. If there is ever a day when I am asking, begging for a break or a complete escape, I am not quite sure what I would do.

Now, we all at one point or another have had "enough." Enough of a certain situation, enough of a person, enough of a job or horrible circumstance. But those are situations surrounding you that barely scratch the surface of who we truly are. Just because a situation is not quite as ideal as we would like, does not mean we have to completely run and be freed from ourselves. Over the past 6 months I have become a new person in many ways. I have gained closure on my past, I have learned many painful and harsh lessons and grown in many ways. But that does not mean I have simply run away from my past and "escaped" those circumstances.

Instead I have accepted that my past, the person that I used to be, is exactly what has shaped the person I am today. Without willingly bearing the pain, allowing myself to be vulnerable and admitting that my life was not ideal, I would never have made it through the past 6 months. Life is meant to be a learning experience. As Jason would say, "It takes some tears to make you trust, it takes those tears to make it rust, it takes the dust to have it polished...It takes some silence to make sound, It takes a loss before you found it. It takes a road to go nowhere, it takes a toll to make you care, it takes a hole to make a mountain."

Without the give and take, the ups and downs, the accomplishments and inadequacies, we would never learn and progress in life. And, along the same line, without taking responsibility for our circumstances and realizing that we truly do have the ability and control to create the ideal life, we will get absolutely nowhere. This concept seems so simple, yet is very likely one of the most profound philosophies in life. But so many people sadly completely miss the point. So many people want to place the responsibility and blame on other people, on circumstances or surroundings. The only thing we have absolute control over in life is our reaction, our own acceptance or denial of circumstances, our innate ABILITY to create a life worth living.

Again, as Jason would say, "Life is wonderful!" It truly is wonderful, beautiful and meaningful if we choose to make it that way. I don't want to be anything I'm not. I want to be EVERYthing I AM. Every up, down, tear, smile and person that has helped shaped the person I am today has helped create EVERYthing I ever wanted to be!